Over the past few months I have been working to strengthen my faith. Through this journey there have been several moments of great struggle along with many moments of great happiness. As I work to re-structure my beliefs and re-organize my thoughts on going to church verse being religious, I find there are many different ways to go about this.
First there are the well known daily devotionals, followed by church, and finishing with just learning to study your Bible. I have actually tried a mix of these things and have come to find a solution that works for me.
This new plan to reinvent myself all began at the beginning of June when I just felt a need to change, a need to be a better person. After a few classes at Bethel University I came to the realization of my calling to this place, to these people, to this way of life. I have always tried living as a good christian should but have certainly made err on the side of the undergraduate lifestyle. I suppose I should give a little detail about that because this is what has lead me to this current path.
During this time I went to a school that was 600 miles from home, a place with no family, no friends, no real connections. I chose this path because I was partly wanting to escape my family, but also because I did want to experience life on my own in an entirely new place. So here I was, alone, away, and without anyone to stand in my way. Over the next several years I dated, dumped, and was dumped several times. I always thought I'd find "the one" while away at undergrad, but that did not happen. Looking back on this path of dating I find that I wasn't listening to my heart or even really thinking about who I was with but I suppose that is what college brings. Along the way I found myself going to church occasionally and struggling to find a place that fit. I didn't really go to church very often over those years nor did I choose to read the bible much at all. But I do think there are set paths for us to learn lessons. My lesson for this time I believe is learning to trust in God and listen to your heart and have faith.
So now fast-forwarding to June 2011 I find myself looking for a new home church, again in a new city (now the Twin Cities), and looking to reinvent myself. First I started looking for a church, checked out a few of the Mennonite's around town and eventually came to find the one that I felt the most connected to. Next I started reading the Bible more and more each day, accompanying that with a little month-long devotional about serving others, and in particular, the homeless.
These things have all brought me back into a lifestyle in which I think about my actions, think about how I can serve others, and act on the desire to do good works. Through all of the things I have been a part of, and am currently a part of, I now look for that silver lining of hope and bliss that comes around far more often now that I know where to look. As my rumspringa comes to an end I hope that this new path will enlighten me and teach me great things.
2 Timoth 1:7 (My baptism verse)
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.
Psalm 82: 3-4 ( One that comes to thought on serving others)
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
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